Find a Seamstress and Command the Runway

Story written by Phyllis Toben Bancroft.  Posted with permission via Hiddenfeet posting rules & Legal Disclaimer.

Dear Hiddenfeet,

It was a cold, dark and wet February in Manhattan. I was twenty-seven years old and my best friend, Preston, was getting married. I had known him since the age of five and he was head over heals in love. Although it was difficult because I felt like I was loosing a best friend, I gave him my full support when he asked me to represent him on the groom’s side as a groom’s girl.

When his fiancé asked me if I had any thoughts on what type of dress I’d be willing to wear, I told her I’d be open to anything except a halter-top. She was very friendly on the phone and truly understood my concerns (as much as she could being a B-cup). A few weeks later, she called me up and said that she found the perfect dress at Macy’s Herald Square. She was very excited, as was I, as she described it as a classy mock-tuxedo dress.

When it was time to shop, Elain went with me so that I would have a second eye. She was like my NY mom who looked out for me as soon as I arrived in the city. I trusted her opinion because she was older and wiser. We were having a great girls day out, until we got to the fifth floor, and saw the dress. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a black halter-top dress with a white tuxedo collar that snapped behind the neck. I looked at Elaine and she looked back at me, and then we both looked at my boobs. Our giggles were silenced.

But, as any friend would do, I wanted to make it work. In the dressing room, with Elain as my witness, I almost wept. First of all, there was so much spillage that we both could have drowned to death in the fitting room. There was barely enough fabric to cover my nipples. I was coming out of the sides and the top. Elain looked at me in this dress and said, “Girl, you can’t wear that, it’s wrong, all wrong, especially for a church wedding.”

“Girl, you can’t wear that, it’s wrong, all wrong, especially for a church wedding.”

I agreed, but something in me needed to buy the dress to prove to Preston that I was being supportive. So, I did.

Already humiliated, I convinced Elain to go to the lingerie department with me. When we got there, we started looking for a 34DD, which was impossible to find. A sweet saleswoman came over to help, but when I told her what size I wore, it was as if Darth Vader had taken over her being. She said, “For that size, you have to go to THE WALL!” She pointed her finger and our heads turned as if we, too, had been possessed.

Being a little on the flat size, Elain eventually broke out into laughter. Thank God, because I was so close to loosing it. So, we walked over to THE WALL. It was filled with extra-large bras that you’d imagine someone’s grandmother would wear. I turned to Elain and said, “I just can’t do this today.”  She totally understood.

When I got home, I called Preston immediately and told him that I wanted to meet with him. He was excited because he knew that I’d been shopping. Later that same day, he picked me up in a cab as we made our way out to dinner. I got in with the bag and I said, “Preston, I bought the dress, but I’m not going to wear it. I only asked that the dress not be a halter” and then I pulled it out of the bag. His faced dropped. He replied, “Take the dress back, I’ll handle this.”

In the end, with the approval from the bride and groom, us groom-girls got together, designed our own floor length velvet gowns with shawls, and found an impeccable seamstress to make our dresses. I don’t remember her name, but I do remember that she also sewed for Karl Kani when he was just starting out.

So, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, stand up for yourself, be innovative, create a design, find a seamstress and command the runway!

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