Mom Wants Daughter to Have Breast Reduction
June 8th, 2008
We recently received an email about this disturbing story posted on the Family Education website. The mother of this teenage girl is obviously in need of psychological help. She is trying to convince her daughter to have a breast reduction. A reduction that the young girl does NOT want. The good news is that Carleton Kendrick, a family therapist himself for more than 20 years, gave some great tips to the 16 year old girl.
“Question: I am 16 years old and have a rather large chest size for my age. My mother is adamant about getting a breast reduction. I have discussed it with the doctor and I am not comfortable with doing it but my mother presses on. How do I convince her that I do not want this procedure? Also, she said that “we are going to change your wardrobe” this year because of my chest. I like the clothes I wear. I don’t wear anything that shows a midriff or too much cleavage. How can I get her to see that she can’t pick out all of my clothes? I don’t get a say in what I wear and I am 16 years old and entering my junior year of high school. Thank you!”
I’m glad at least one girl loves her body enough to not want to reduce her breasts. And respects herself enough and is strong enough to defend her body from one who does. Someone who’s supposed to act in your best interests. But when that someone acts against your best interests, I’d reserve the right to defy her and do what’s best for myself.
What a shame. I hope this girl sticks up for herself. If her boobs don’t hurt or cause trouble why should she get surgery? Mom needs help.
I can’t tell if this girl is worried she doesn’t get to wear the clothing she wants or if she is being preasured into a breast reduction.
Heather I think it is both. The therapist says she needs to try to get a trusted female family or extended family member or friend to talk with her mother about her concerns. That should help I hope!
Always a shame when your own family turns against you. :(
maybe the mother needs breast implants
I really hope that this girl sticks up for herself too. When I was her age, I didn’t think that my mom could be wrong. I just took her word for it. Even in her making me major in something else other than my intended college major. I’m glad she thinks for herself, and I really hope someone can be on her side and stop her mom from ruining her body.
It shouldn’t be legal to do it to someone this young. You have parents sign permission forms when you’re under 18, but they should also be done with the child’s consent. I think that they won’t do it without the child’s consent because it’s her body they’re operating on. For circumcision, they do it without the baby’s permission, but this girl is 16 years old and she knows what she wants and doesn’t want. If there are girls her age who want breast reductions and are allowed to go through with them, then this girl should be allowed to not go through breast reduction because she does not want it.
There ought to be a way to reach this girl with all of our support so that she and her mother know where we stand.
Makes me sad. It is one thing to choose the outfit a young girl wears. It is another to push them into life changing surgery. Did it ever occur to this mother that big breast are pretty? My sisters are huge and they look great on her. Does this mother even have the legal right to get her daughter to do this to someone sixteen years old?
alison
What does the father have to say about all this? Is there a father around? Without jumping to conclusions this could be an example of why 2 parents would benefit a young girl like this. It doesn’t seem like the girls overall well-being is being considered by her mother. Makes me angry.
- Jenny
@J: I think it is a pretty old story so I am not sure we would be of much help. Hopefully she learned something from his response and will get another adult involved.
Well kudos to the girl for sticking up for herself. I agree with J that I wish I can read a follow up to all this and learn what eventually happened to her. Sweet thing knows that her boobs are not an enemy. Attitudes need to change, not our bodies. Lovely website Sara! First time visitor!